"Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul." St. Augustine
As I sit here pondering in my wee 'tidy' student room up in J'town, I just had the cheeky urge to write up a wee blog amongst my greeeat flat mates studying the bit out..
Jesus is more than enough when i flip through my prayer journal. It is so evident that God answers prayer as I glance towards the scribbles and colouring of the desires of my heart. My rambling words of confusion we're easy to solve for Him..He already knew what was weighing on my mind. He already knew my failures. He knew my hopes. My dreams. Jesus, my love is yours, so I live to seek to glorify you. So what have I been thinking about lately?! I guess lately over the past few months from the summer time, it's been a real learning curve for me. I will not pretend that I am perfect. I am consumed with idolising appearance. I regularly place appearance before my King. I can't describe how much this struggle has impacted me. And I thank God for this. Because of this, I am losing my identity in Christ:) I am always struggling with my own selfishness and insecurities, but I am completely in awe of His love for me. He sets my heart on fire, and makes my eyes dance..I rejoice in His name..and getting to know him as a father been amazing since leaving school and becoming a student. The world has brainwashed me into striving for beauty. I'm very glad that when the things of this world didn't add up to me, it only struck me that I wasn't made for this world, but the kingdom of God.
Treasuring and following Jesus is the answer. We can find true and lasting JOY through and with Him. He is continually whispering to my weighed down shoulders that He is sufficient. I may not feel beautiful, but as God gradually strips away the hard shelter of my heart, and transforms me with His grace, I cannot help but glow with simple love. Proverbs 31 represents that she 'is worth far more than rubies' when she is a woman of strong character, great wisdom, and great compassion. This is a result of her fear and reverance of God. She is a girl of integrity, and she is comletely and utterly beautiful. Why? because of her Jesus.
Song of Solomon 4:7:"You are altogether beautiful my darling; there is absolutely no flaw in you.' I guess I've just realised that I want to be set apart in complete devotion to my God. His hand has been guiding along the way, for a girl that radiates the love of Jesus is more precious than jewels. She is more beautiful than the beach. His thoughts towards me are as countless as the grains of sand...and that blows my mind.
For I hope in you alone. Your goodness and blessings towards me are plentiful. Annie Stockdale is an example of courage to me. That makes her beautiful. Sarah Gilkinson is seeking Him more and more..I love listening to her talk..she is an example of strength. Rachel Jhonston is kind..she has time to listen to me talk and talk and talk, haha..she takes the time. Joanna Irons has a heart for Hong Kong..the stories of her hope in Him alone humble me. Laura Gordon is caring...she radiates the love of Jesus because she expresses joy in following Him. These girls are beautiful. I wish I could write about all the girls I know..they are pretty amazing! I wish I could write about all the people I know..they are courageous. God is in control of each life..'my only hope is in your unfailing love and faithfulness' psalm 40:11. That hands that hold the world are holding these girls' hearts.
I don't want Him to be number one, I want Him to be my everything. As I live to know and love Him more, I surrender my pride and hurt to Him, as he breaks my heart into shattered pieces of grace. He lets me rest in His presence and catch a glimpse of what it means to be truly beautiful..:)
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