"I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. For great is your steadfast love toward me.." Ps. 86:12-13
Wow. What a verse, and what a God. The God of summer time is the God of my hopes, my ambitions and the dreams that I had for July and August. I dreamt big, but God was bigger. I stumbled and doubted his provision, but He was the provider. I prayed, and He opened His hand. He's the father of my heart, and He has so evidently broken it for His kingdom. Not because of anything I've done, but because of His steadfast love and faithfulness. And as my thoughts come tumbling out, I realise that words aren't sufficient to reflect on how good God has been towards me this summer. Solomon warned us not to rush into God's presence with words. That's what fools do. Time spent alone in His presence allows us to be humbled, and Jesus to be exalted. So, I'm just going to share a tiny bit of what I've been learning this summer.:)
The aspect of giving this summer has been so rewarding!! I've learnt more than I ever expected I would, and have fallen more wildly in love with Jesus than I ever dared to dream I would. I've realised the foolishness of trying to find fulfillment outside of Him. I desire now to love God in total surrender. Fixing my eyes on Him for everything that I need, and witnessing the beauty of walking in genuine intimacy with our Father, and our bestest friend. 'Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did' (1John 2:6) I'm still a loooong way off of giving Jesus my whole heart, but I yearn to open up my eyes to the things unseen, and see the hope that Jesus brings.
Hope. So many of us are hopeless. And that's what I saw in an estate in Ballycastle. Alongside the three main streams that ran for the kids, there was a detatched team. We we're also called the gorgeous club!;) Basically, we went out into the estates in the afternoon and evenings and got to know the kids that we're hanging about. This was up and down the whole week. So, on monday afternoon, we set off. Excited but nervous. And we came down with a thud. It was raining, there was no kids about, and we we're disheartened. So we prayed. We prayed for practical things like good weather and kids. And guess what?! The next day, the sun was shining and there was a crowd of children! wow. Amy Todd and I we're pumped!:D So, that evening, we set off into the evening estate. It was really hard. They are hopeless in there. They just don't want to know. And they don't care. And that was hard. But God is the God of Ballycastle, and greater things are yet to come. Ballycastle CSSM was incredible. Jeff Gawn said on the friday night that he was 'excited. As people begain to contact me asking about CSSM, I was getting excited.' It's exciting that people want to know more. We need to stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all. We prayed big, and God answered. So many of us are just looking for an answer. We're looking for that hope. When I was fifteen, I found that answer, and my days have never been the same:) Yes, it defintley hasn't been easy following Jesus. I've been hurt, and have often wondered God's love and plan for me. The lyrics of 'Come home running' summarise my thoughts of how God delivered to our cry of prayer. Our prayer that kids would ask Jesus into their hearts and gave their lives to Him.
'Oh heart of mine, come back home. You've been too long out on your own, and He's been there all along, watching for you down the road..
...So come home running, His arms are open wide. His name is Jesus, He understands. He is the answer, you are looking for. So come home running, just as you are.'
Enniskillen 360 was another week that just blew me away. 360 consits of three streams-dance,sport and art, and we also went into the estates and had a teen drop-in at two:42 at night time. Yet again, that week I learnt that the key to loving Jesus we're wet eyes, bent knees and a broken heart. In Art, we got to meet Rebecca. She's great. Philip Irons and Cherith Mckeown spent a lot of time with her. They we're humbled. So often we take for granted the fact that we can step up onto a pavement. Rebecca can't. God was the centre of 360 Art, and He placed Rebecca into our pathway to show us that when life knocks us down, and we're overwhelmed with whats going on..we're in a perfect position to pray. At 360, I had a great small group. They we're amazing girls! They taught me more then I could have asked for. One day, we we're writing our own psalms. I quote one girl's brilliant illustration! 'God's love is like a boomarang. You throw him away so many times, but His love keeps coming back.' wow. In the Chanterhill estate, we had one amazing night, when the kids we're just quiet and still as they listened to Rachel Stewart's story. We prayed that God would move in Enniskillen, and He did, and He still is.:)
This is just a glimpse of what God can do. Prayer has been answered. I've just woken up this summer. I've decided that I'm going to take my eyes off Caesar Augustus and I'm going to have room for the King..(see Luke ch 2!) I've woken up to the true meaning of striving to relfect the beauty of Jesus. I just want to be a Proverbs 31 girl. This girl is AMAZING!! She is 'far more precious than jewels..she opens her hand to the poor..strength and dignity are her clothing..she opens her mouth with wisdom, adn the teaching of kindness if on her tongue.':)
And as I embark on starting university, I'm excited!! And I'm apprehensive. I'm nervous about what the course holds, the people, the place and the opportunities. I trust that God has amazing things to teach me in Jordanstown. He's put me there for a reason, and I pray that He will be my everything. The God who hears my prayer, fears and hopes for Jordanstown, will answer. I ask that he will keep on breaking my heart at uni, and that he'll place more amazing people into my pathway. One night, not so long ago, Judith McLean told me that she absolutely loved John 15. 'If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.'
So I thank God for an incredible two months of learning and growing. I seek to learn more and fall more in love with Jesus as I start a new season of my life and walk.:)
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